"Omai's Charm"

Maybe I can exhaust my pressure and anger here....... Well, the subject says it all........ I'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really FREAKI'N BORED!!!

 

 

2:18PM, 21RSW113:

This is Faye's last 2:18PM sa PP, and 12mins to go before her shift ends... It's really hard to see her transferring all her e-mail messages from man account to another e-mail add, moving all her things out of pedestal and locker, filling out Liezl's SLUMBOOK (PAMATAY!!), and composing her (supposedly) last e-mail... But who knows, the world out there could be her way to success... Kahit inde ko gano close yan si Faye, she is worth being a friend.. Makulit, masaya kasama, inde nauubusan ng jokes at funny comments..Sayang nga lang kung kelan sya aalis, yun pa yung time na nakikilala ko na sya.. Ang lungkot nman ng blog ko for today... I'm just about to lose another good friend, co-worker, and makulit na Pey.... Pampalubag loob na nga lang nung narinig ko si Liezl mag joke! Ok sana yung joke kaso nasisira dahil sa delivery nya.. Pero napangiti nya rin ako dun! And about slumbook nya, its really cool! Inde ko ma imagine na i-rerevive nya pa yung mga elementary moments ko sa slumbook na yun.... At nakikita ko kay Liezl na she's so sad also about Faye's goodbye... Well, I'll just give my "take care and goodluck" with you Faye! Gonna miss you both!

(** Pic Source: Fayei)

(** Pic Source: Fayei)

So this is it... continuation of the first part (common sense)   ...... So here we go:

 

Ayun na nga, I was able to get my BC (NSO Authenticated na sha), and it is my first time na makakita ng Authenticated... Kase ang alam ko lang Certified True XEROX Copy, ung may blue stamp lang tas cheap paper pa ang gamit... Kase napahiya ako nung first attempt ko pumasok sa Step 1 for Passport application, si Lola Janet lang... So back to my story, after my BC handed over to me, ninamnam ko na agad co'z I know that will be the last time na makikita at makakasama ko sha... I then proceed to other side of highway (DFA) and make a 4 copies of it... It is already 8:15am... At shempre pa, nasa government office tau, sabi nga ni Faye, "monotone" ang mga employee and which is TRUE!!! Bakit kaya lahat sila ganun pero iba iba ang boses lang... Ganun din sa NBI at LTO, fyi.... SO at last, I can see the gate 1!!! Naaamoy ko na!! Kaso upon entering, pila agad,  .... That mad smiley tells that the line is so stressing... Unlike nung sila Lola Janet ang Bateng, as in ang layo ng nilakad nila just to get in front of Gate 1 window... Isang basketball Gymnasium sya, but i'm telling you this, parang gusto ko ng umuwi nun, grabe sa haba ng pila.. Siguro ni-test ung patience ko... Kaso naisip ko yung effort, kahit alam ko bugnot pumila dun, "GO!!"... Lakad dun, ikot pakanan, ikat pakaliwa, patatak sa papers, pasok sa may mga upuan na.. Tas tayo every 5mins ng kaliwa't kanan, tas upo... mga about 7x akong tayo kaliwa't kanan... kase ung line paikot ikot lang to make the area not so crowded... galing! inde nga crowded pero pamatay ang init at amoy! at me panlaban ako kase galing ako ng shift... hehehehe...   so about 30 mins ako sa gate 1... After 30mins  ng pagka bugnot, step 2! on which is quite better, 15mins...tagal pa rin nun! lalo na sa taong wala pang tulog  .... And what to do in step 2? Check lang nila papers mo kung me tatak from step 1 or gate 1, kung trip ka ng nagbabantay sa step 2, they will tag your paper dun sa window na konti lang, pag inde, tepok ka sa mahabang pila... Luckily, naawa ata sa muka ko yung nagbabantay, nakita mata ko na dilat, she let me pay dun sa window na pang 3rd ako ... masaya ako nun kase kahit pano, me nagparamdam ng concern sa kalagayan ko.. wakoko!!

 

And at last! the last window, "Payment", which is the easiest part that i've experienced!! Wala na ko masabi.. kakatuwa kase onti at mabilis ang pila.. un lang... haaayy! ayaw ko na kwento ung pag kuha ng Passport or releasing... Process is 5 working days upon submission ng papers...

 

Although the experience is quite drastic, I'm happy... happy kase nakuha ko na Passport ko!! Well, see them again after 5 years!! Inde ko muna sila iisipin... Kakakilabot eh...

"In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition."

---

I don't know who you are. Please believe. There is no way I can convince you that this is not one of their tricks. But I don't care. I am me, and I don't know who you are, but I love you.

I have a pencil. A little one they did not find. I am a women. I hid it inside me. Perhaps I won't be able to write again, so this is a long letter about my life. It is the only autobiography I have ever written and oh God I'm writing it on toilet paper.

I was born in Nottingham in 1957, and it rained a lot. I passed my eleven plus and went to girl's Grammar. I wanted to be an actress.

I met my first girlfriend at school. Her name was Sara. She was fourteen and I was fifteen but we were both in Miss. Watson's class. Her wrists. Her wrists were beautiful. I sat in biology class, staring at the picket rabbit foetus in its jar, listening while Mr. Hird said it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. Sara did. I didn't.

In 1976 I stopped pretending and took a girl called Christine home to meet my parents. A week later I enrolled at drama college. My mother said I broke her heart.

But it was my integrity that was important. Is that so selfish? It sells for so little, but it's all we have left in this place. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free.

London. I was happy in London. In 1981 I played Dandini in Cinderella. My first rep work. The world was strange and rustling and busy, with invisible crowds behind the hot lights and all that breathless glamour. It was exciting and it was lonely. At nights I'd go to the Crew-Ins or one of the other clubs. But I was stand-offish and didn't mix easily. I saw a lot of the scene, but I never felt comfortable there. So many of them just wanted to be gay. It was their life, their ambition. And I wanted more than that.

Work improved. I got small film roles, then bigger ones. In 1986 I starred in "The Salt Flats." It pulled in the awards but not the crowds. I met Ruth while working on that. We loved each other. We lived together and on Valentine's Day she sent me roses and oh God, we had so much. Those were the best three years of my life.

In 1988 there was the war, and after that there were no more roses. Not for anybody.

In 1992 they started rounding up the gays. They took Ruth while she was out looking for food. Why are they so frightened of us? They burned her with cigarette ends and made her give them my name. She signed a statement saying I'd seduced her. I didn't blame her. God, I loved her. I didn't blame her.

But she did. She killed herself in her cell. She couldn't live with betraying me, with giving up that last inch. Oh Ruth. . . .

They came for me. They told me that all of my films would be burned. They shaved off my hair and held my head down a toilet bowl and told jokes about lesbians. They brought me here and gave me drugs. I can't feel my tongue anymore. I can't speak.

The other gay women here, Rita, died two weeks ago. I imagine I'll die quite soon. It's strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and I apologized to nobody.

I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one.

An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

I don't know who you are. Or whether you're a man or a woman. I may never see you or cry with you or get drunk with you. But I love you. I hope that you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better, and that one day people have roses again. I wish I could kiss you.

Valerie

X

Hanggang kelan na lang kaya si Omai?? Ano ba balak nya?? Mangibang bansa? PWEDE!! Magtrabaho dito sa pinas?? ah, eh, pwede pa siguro... Ganun talaga malulupit, malakas ang loob umalis ng bansa, tapos pagdating dun naknakan naman ng lungkot, haaayyy.. Just to have your family and love one survive, kelangan mo damayan ang lungkot duon sa malayong lugar... Ewan ko ba, bakit decided na ko umalis.. Sabagay, sayang nman yung pinila namin ni Janet sa NBI nun para lang sa requirements sa Passport namin, at ang kamalas malasan eh inde na honor ung birth certificate ko, inde daw kase galing sa NSO eh "Certified True Copy" naman sha, dun pa lang eh, makikita mo na kabulukan dito... Ayun, minalas na nga sa birth certificate, lalong malas nung kumuha pa ko, pumila ako ng kinabukasan sa NSO ng 7am, naka pasok ako sa loob ng step 1&2 (verification en payment), after nun wala na, bukas mo pa makukuha yung copy mo.. 10am daw releasing (ayon sa receipt), pero pag pumila ka AMF!!! mga ala una or alas dos mo na makukuha yung Birth Cert mo, at shempre me shift pa ko sa gabi kaya UWIAN na!! Aysus, yung Passport ni Butengsta ang nakuha namin (daya nga eh, ako ang nangangailangan sha pa nakakuha agad)...

 

At kinabukasan, ayun, 6:30am!!! At mga pang 50 ako sa pila, o di ba, paka aga... At ang mga taong nasa paligid ko, aga aga mga muka ng sabog sa mga amoy nila sa isa't isa, e mga mukang wala pang hilamos at tutbras sa sobrang pag mamadali!! Galing ako sa shift nun at luckily, nakapagdala ako ng oto, kaya mabilis ako nakapunta at naka uwi.. Sa NSO pasay pala yun ha, sa harap din ng DFA (fyi sa mga kukuha).. Dami nagsabi na mas okey pa dun kesa sa East Ave... Sus!! okey pa pala yun ha, pano na kaya sa East Ave, kung dun kayo pupunta, gudlak sa inyo at pag ppray ko kau... Haay, wala pa ko sa DFA nyan ha para lang sa application...